I WISH TO GET ANAESTHETIZED

I would be the happiest
When I m not happy, nor sad
Where nothing is good , nor bad
When I get anaesthetized from the world

I don’t want to say anything
Nor do I want to hear
Comfort ,comfort is all I want
From everything that aches
And fills in , a slight fear
Fear to confront the faker side.

One goes, another comes
With great explanations
They try to convince me with great convictions
They think they'll be able to carry on with it
As long as they live yes, that’s what they think
That’s what they say and that’s what they mean
But I doubt is that what they really mean?
Frivolously they give the name of conviction
To their short-lived assumption
They assume they will be able to go a long way
They crave for that, they cry for that
They feel they are getting addicted to that
But at last they find that a short lived ecstasy
They evaporate with a convincing reason

But this is a process of combustion
Where what goes around, comes around
They come to exchange their sorrows with my joy
But still can’t get enough of elation
That they come back and hit again
For more, they spit bad words again
Perhaps that is their act of retaliation
For their ‘once upon a time’  humiliation.

But I don’t deserve this retribution
I was naïve, until they taught me a lesson
Now all I wish is
To become anaesthetized from the world.